How to get over a breakup – Dumped411.com Blog

Honest, Sexy and Raw: the First DUMPED Podcast

Ilene KristenSoap Star ILENE KRISTEN, the amazing Emmy-nominated actress, One Life to Live’s Roxy is our guest!  As a big fan of DUMPED, Kristen reveals her personal stories on getting over her breakups.  Honest, sexy and raw.  You’ll learn and laugh with the fabulous, Ilene, who has been there and back!

Come dish with us!

XX

MJ and CB


Our Favorite Dumped Divas of All Time

Even famous icons get dumped…but look at how they all POWERED UP after their breakups (with the exception of our Anne Boleyn – but who coulda predicted that one!?) Let them be an inspiration, ladies!

Anne Boleyn
Dumped by King Henry VIII
Talk about getting the ax. There is nothing a vibrator or a luxurious bath could have done to save her ass… or neck.

Maria Callas
Dumped by Onassis
Onassis dumped her flat on her ass for Jackie Kennedy. Comes back to her when Jackie dumps him. Maria used her time away from him wisely. She assessed the situation and realized… HE’S AN UGLY TOAD.

Katharine Graham
Dumped by Phil Graham
Her gazzilonaire daddy hands over the Washington Post to her depressed, nervous, philandering hubby instead of her. What up with that?? The husband kills himself in ‘63, she takes over and kicks ass with no experience whatsoever. She led her family’s newspaper for more than two decades overseeing its most famous period, Watergate, which led to the resignation of Nixon. This former housewife went on to write a Pulitzer Prize winning memoir in 1998 and is a great example of reinventing yourself!

And speaking of “Empowerment Babes, we’ll be interviewing incredible real women on our upcoming podcast show, DUMPED411. These inspiring ladies are gonna dish about reinvention, lovers and living a fabulous life. Sign up to our email list if you wanna be the first to know when the show is live! http:www.dumped411.com

Illustration by Alexandra Rosa

Illustration by Alexandra Rosa


We Got a Makeover, Hotties!

Not US…we did that three years ago when we DUMPED our exes. We’re talkin’ about our website: DUMPED411.com.

We LOVE the photo from our homepage – a shot from a fun ALTERNATIVE Valentine’s party we threw…it so reflects our new lives and YOUR new lives post breakups when you follow us! LOVING life again, completely reinvented, wearing RED baby, feeling sexy and empowered – It’s gonna happen for you too. TRUST US…we’ve been there!

Our new website makeover is so HOT – it’s like having sex with Daniel Craig in an erotic dream!

In our new sexy website look, you’ll find:

DUMPED stories where it’s your turn to post your tricks for reinventing yourself. We wanna hear from you! Let’s all join forces saving the women of America from themselves!

• The official DUMPED trailer (trust us, chicas, it’s even better the second and third time around – like multiple orgasms with your lover or favorite vibrator)

• Exclusive post-breakup tips from our blog (think of this as your get-off-your-ass cheat sheet)

• And check out our events and raves from Lisa Lampanelli, Amy Sohn from Sex and the City, and Rory Freedman (Skinny Bitch), Chicago Trib

ANNNND…

To celebrate our makeover, we’re giving away a FREE COPY of our book DUMPED: A Guide to Getting Over a Breakup and Your Ex in Record Time. ENTER OUR CONTEST before we run out of copies!

http://contest.io/c/u2ac21vt

Enjoy the HOT summer ahead, ladies. Let’s start celebrating a new, sexier, happier YOU with DUMPED411 as your inspiration!

XXXX

MJ & CB

 


Texting Post-Sex and Other Signs You Might Be a Rude Online Dater

rude

I’m on an Internet “cocktail” date. I give these first encounters no more than an allotted 26 minutes. That’s my rule which, of course, I have merrily broken in the past. But generally… a cup of java and I’m out. Tonight, it’s booze — ’cause it’s Thursday and he amused the hell out of me in email exchanges and I’m feeling, well, optimistic. The man shows. He’s shorter, older, balder and duller in the flesh (umm, how does this happen? How do people who dash off witty emails manage to fall so short — excuse pun — in real life?) And he’s cheap. Within seven minutes, I know this is a no-go. Nice enough man — let’s call him “Dan” — but we have absolutely zip in common. Yes, “Dan” has lied (RUDE) on his profile about (a) his age (b) his pictures (c) his freakin’ height. Despite all this, I sympathize as a fellow human being, but think he’s a troll to be rid of ASAP. Perched there at the bar, sipping my dry, delicious Bombay martini, I knew I needed out. Now, it was my turn to lie. (RUDE.) I said I got a sudden text from a dear pal who lives on the Upper East Side, in urgent need of my physical assistance. We are in midtown on Third Avenue in NYC, at a trendy bar on the East side of the street.

Read the full article in HuffPost…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maryjane-fahey/lying-on-your-profile_b_3306433.html 


7 Ways to Spring Clean Your Toxic Mating Habits

According to every single woman’s magazine on newsstands today, it’s spring cleaning time. If I see another article on de-cluttering, I’m gonna go crazy. I won’t deny, however, that the hints of fresh spring breezes wafting through my window does invite some kind of a REFRESH. My mess of a closet, for one thing — and with that wardrobe change comes the inevitable metaphor of tidying up the wintry wreckage of worn-out mating habits. Below are seven essential tips for spring cleaning:

Tip #1. Check those Expiration Labels

Read the full article in Huff Post…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maryjane-fahey/relationship-advice_b_2829237.html


If ‘Dear Abby’ Gave the Girls of HBO’s ‘GIRLS’ Some Advice…

What follows is DUMPED‘s homage to the “Dear Abby” columnist, Pauline Phillips, who left this planet in January of 2013. Imagine if HBO’s ‘Girls’ coming to her for advice, self-involved and dealing with their problematic Brooklyn lives and needing a bit of her most uncommon common sense…

Read the full article in Huffington Post


Dear Halle, and Other Letters of Advice to the Ladies of 2012 Top Breakups

1. Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber

Dear Selena,

Lucky you! You no longer will have to deal with The Bieb’s  rabid preteen fan base or search for his eyes concealed by his nutty hairdo.   You’re young and fabulous with your whole life ahead of you and plenty of rock stars to date!  On to the next, girlfriend!

2. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison

Dear Kristen,

You got away with it this time. He’s back in your loving arms talking babies and bling. But in our experience, when it’s done, it’s DONE, over, finito, kaput.  Your need to publicly stray like that… wow….. speaks volumes.  Like you were lookin’ for an out.  Go with your gut, chica!  We support you whole heartedly!

3. Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise

Dear Katie,

Whatever you have on Tom, good for you for keeping that shit under wraps.  It’s obvious you love your child and have enough self respect to not drag Mr. “Impossible” to the cleaners.   And look at you – your careers’s on fire, you’ve got your life back, and most importantly, you can strut in HEELS again!  We’re proud of you, doll face! Woooohoooooo!

4. Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy

Dear Taylor,

Give it a rest, girl.  We’re spent just hearing about your escapades.  You have enough material to last you an entire career at this point and you’re a BABY!  Stay home with a mud mask or have a slumber party with your gal pals.  Go for a bike ride or to a museum.  It’s not necessary to jump from one guy to the next – it’s dizzying for us so we can only imagine what it’s like for you.  Take a nap.

5. Heidi Klum and Seal

Dear Heidi,

Perhaps dating the help isn’t such a super idea right about now.  Fly solo for a bit till you’re ready to move on to your next great love.  As an aside…maybe this whole renewing of the vows every year ain’t such a super duper sign that things are hunky dory, huh? Rather than showing the world how much you “love” each other, tell that one person exactly how you feel – privately!

6. Halle Berry, Gabriel Aubry and Olivier Martinez

You need our help more than anyone.  What’s your address, lady, cuz we’re sending you a complimentary copy of DUMPED. Seriously, you are a repeat offender letting everyone dump all over you.   Here’s a thought:  How ‘bout working on your inner life and gettin’ some self-esteem?  We truly believe that you’ve got to be oh so much more than just a pretty face.   Prove us right. Take our DUMPED quizzes and get back to us.

7. Rhea Perlman and Danny Devito

Hmmmmm…..  really??  We have an idea: How “bout the two of you hit the nearest sex shop and buy some much needed toys and work it out?  Porn maybe?  Tough to keep things hot after so many years but you’re both so cute and adorable, it’d be nice to see you back together.

8.  Vanessa Paradis & Johnny Depp

Dear Vanessa,

You married America’s favorite bad boy, tamed him (or did you?), had his children and lived with him part-time on your very own Caribbean island.  Sounds like Paradis, indeed.  14 years is a long time.  You gave up your career yada yada.  Good for you for taking stock and gettin’ out.  Why wait another 14 years?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3_acBo6vEo


12 Sex Resolutions To Ring In 2013 With a “BANG”

After being single for about six months, I finally came alive again, and by alive, I mean … alive down there. After my breakup, I thought I’d never want to have sex again. My libido, along with my record collection and art books, got lost in the shuffle. Months went by where I saw single pals on the prowl and just was not interested. I worked on my strength, on my joy factor – but it was my co-author and hot-blooded pal who brought me back to the living, insisting that I practice the resolutions I share with you below. And when the libido did come back – it came back in spades. The more I loved myself again, the more I wanted to spread the joy.

Read the full article in Huffington Post

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maryjane-fahey/sex-resolutions-2013_b_2375811.html

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I decided that I wanted to be all the things that I loved about HIM...a strong, independent, fierce, bilingual globe trotter–Mary Shafrath

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